Everything is going to be okay, I think.
I have been reading one of Mark Manson book’s and it has really opened a new world for me when it comes unto my thoughts, the way they are processed and the things I value or give my attention to. It has really placed me in a deep place of contemplation on what will really be the outcome of my life.
What is life going to be like in the next few years?
What will I think about?
What will I value?
The fact the I am (we are) living in a pandemic where wearing a mask is mandatory, when once upon a time masks wearing were only for over populated countries such as China, either way the uncertainty of life and the more I engulf in my books the more I realize that I do not know what I want in life and that life is for living and not worrying. I worry a lot about my future, career wise, love wise, family wise because I have painted a perfect picture of how my life is to be but the truth is I need to analyze the problems that will come with the decisions of this perfect picture. Betterment of life will always come with problems, no matter how in the moment before betterment occurs it will seem like the right answer and all problems will be solved but in fact it will only open an entire new door and window of problems to enter your already beautiful life…
It’s going to take some time but me, myself, I and all my other personalities have made an executive decision that I will slowly be burning the perfect painted picture I have in my head and just live. If I should end up back packing the rest of my life across Europe being a dog mom, that is exactly what it is going to be, if I should be the wife of a good man and mom of good children or the opportunity to spend MORE quality time with myself, that is exactly what is going to happen.
However, whatever it is, until then I am very uncertain of my life but in the next few months I only hope and wish to be less wrong about what I want and what I value to give me the true betterment of making decisions that will come with problems that I will enjoy solving.